Tuesday Evening Musings – Life Update, Working with Spiritual Energy, and More

School is starting this week for me as my 2nd to final semester as an undergraduate begins. The past several days have been eye-opening for me, connecting with myself and the world in a ways I haven’t in a long time. Today I did my usual daily coffee shop routine, listening to a couple Catholics nearby discuss religion, some kids having fun with their parents nearby and otherwise loud chattiness. And of course, I have CT with me being her silly self as usual.

Spiritual Energy (Alert: Includes mature content of a sexual nature. Reader discretion is advised)

I believe in the power of intention and prayer. I’ve worked with spiritual energy in my life to bring people and things into my life when I needed them and the Universe thought I was ready for them. I believe having CT in my life is a product of that intention. I released the seed of that goal to have a special someone in my life a long time ago and she came into my life at the perfect time; when I was mentally and emotionally ready for a long-term relationship and when was mature enough to appreciate it. And just today, I had an opportunity fall into my lap that is an answer to previous prayers and energy workings and will expand my career goals and horizons.

One energy I’ve used extensively in my spiritual workings is sexual energy. It’s acute, intense and powerful. The act of sex itself brings your consciousness to a different, unique level. When used for focused intention, I’ve found it can achieve powerful results in my life. Last night, I focused on a particular goal I wished to bring into our lives, while I sat legs crossed in front of CT who was doing the same, with us touching and fondling each other. We could feel our energies moving across each other back and forth in an ebb and flow (she also told me, she wanted to be connected and ‘one with me’ which made me happy). While making love, I imagined our energy building up within us like a generator. As the intense pleasure turned into orgasm, I imagined the release of an intense jet of energy out of us, through the ceiling and out into the Universe, to the goal I wished to achieve. Sometimes my goals are specific, sometimes they are general, it all depends on my needs for my life. But even in energy working, I always remember the power and motivation comes from God and Goddess, something above and beyond myself and that the intention is always good and for the betterment of myself or others and not at the expense of others.

Self-Esteem

I love CT very much, but it always pains me when I see her beat up on herself. She’s a bigger, thicker lady. She’s had issues with her weight for quite some years now (some of it because of self-esteem issues, some because of medication). I always compliment her on how pretty she is (cuz she is), but sometimes none of the compliments in the world matter when your own mind is your greatest enemy. Still, she says the compliments help and everything from those compliments to my sexual desire for her helps her feel better about herself as a woman even if she falls into the dumps sometime. She’s my sweetie and my Goddess and I would do anything to please her and make her happy. I hope for a better quality of life for the both of us together. On her weight, she’s committing herself to getting back into a major daily workout regiment and caloric restriction tomorrow. Since I’m overweight as well (lighter than CT, but far from optimal), I’m going to commit to the same as being on same wavelength tends to help both of us function better. The God and Goddess declared to me to treat my body as a temple. Keep it clean and healthy…so I can stand to do a better job at following such a creed.

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