After a couple days break from meditating, went back to it again overnight this morning after waking up initially. Using my mp3 player, I played a binaural beat track (discussed in the previous meditation posting) and even with some ambient noise in the background (CT wears a CPAP machine while sleeping because she suffers from sleep apnea), I quickly fell in a rather relaxed, pleasurable meditative state with the binaural beat sound and my own breathing to focus on. After focusing in on this for a short while, I manifested the view of my usual meditative place before me, standing on the beach in front of the beautiful blue ocean.
Almost immediately, the God and Goddess appeared before me in their usual physical appearance as people I’ve known previously. I grabbed their hands with each of mine and we walked together into the forest enjoying their loving company. At one point in this walk I told them that I wished to have blind faith in them and the Universe. They told me that to have blind faith, all I must too is have trust…trust in the Universe, the Creators and the Power of Intention I utilize through them to manifest the life I wish for myself. I must open myself up and be receptive. I sensed they felt I was already on this ongoing path successfully.
I left the visualization and returned to the room, sensing every sound, touch and subtle vibration. I opened myself up to be a receiver of spiritual energy from the Universe and felt it course through my body. At one point, I felt my spirit become out of phase with my physical body. I felt myself feeling floaty and shifting, although my physical body was as still as can be. My head was buzzing with energy. I remained in this state for awhile, simply enjoying the pleasant connection with myself and the Universe until I felt time to wake up from it.
After this experience, my mind, body and soul feel strangely energized. I’m unable to fall back asleep. It is as if I am buzzed on caffeine, but in fact I’m simply saturated with this mysterious energy. And so now I’m out of my bed, contemplating what I was told. In a world where logic and reason dominates and blind faith in a force greater than oneself seems looked down upon, the idea of trust in something you can’t see or measure is a powerful thing. Certainly logic and reason have their place and I believe in the principles of science for understanding our physical universe (in fact, I am a science major and have always loved science). But I think there is something more powerful, more fundamental and esoteric which cannot be measured or observed, only felt and experienced. An energy and state of existence that goes beyond the usual senses and to a different level. And as explained in a previous posting, it is this which I feel at the very heart of my being and gives me faith…the blind faith which drives me and provides me with good spiritual health. I’m no longer second-guessing my beliefs, letting other people tear me down or allowing other toxic thoughts from myself and others to sit in my mind. I just believe…I believe and allow the positive results of my life be the evidence of my healthy mind, body and spirit.
I’m not sharing this spiritual awakening in my life to prove anything or change people’s views on their idea of spirituality or religion…hell, CT is currently the only person who knows my identity whom I share these thoughts with. If I really wanted to, I have atheistic and conservative Christian family members I could easily start arguments with over religion and wouldn’t be too happy with me on my religious thoughts for various reasons based on their lines of thinking (people seem to like other people to think like them). I only wish from my own little place in the Universe to connect with others who wish to have a glimpse into the changes in my life and who also wish to gain any insight into their own. If you’re reading this and it has an effect on you in your spiritual path, whether you be Pagan or Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Jewish, “spiritual, but not religious” or whatever…then I’m glad to have had a positive impact on your life in some even minor way, if nothing else, to bring a different perspective on things. That’s why I do this blog and writing down what’s happening helps me have more confidence that my otherwise private path is the best for me.
Time to see if I can get to sleep now. School and work await me in the daylight. Until later.