My First Post of February-New Moon Ritual of February 10, 2013

Sorry I’ve been MIA for so many days. Decided I had nothing to say and needed a break from the blog for a bit. But I did do my second new moon ritual yesterday! I fasted from morning ’til evening (I still have to do my monetary act of charity) and I thought of a new goal. This goal will (hopefully) go on well beyond the full moon; diet and exercise everyday. I lost some weight over the summer doing it, but gained it all back (well, most of it anyways). So I want to make it a more permanent feature of my life so I can lose the weight and keep it off. Wish me luck!

Besides that, nothing much else has been happening. We had a crazy blizzard this weekend, but other than that, pretty quiet in the life department. I’m seeing about traveling to see family in the next month or two and bring CT along for the ride. I might do some more photography this week (maybe tomorrow?). Hope life is going well for everyone!

Overcoming Challenges in Life

Ever find yourself hitting a major bump in the road of life? That’s kinda me right now. I mean yes, overall I’m happy and feel blessed as I’ve mentioned, but there is a lingering issue in my life that have been bothering me for years that I’ve now decided to confront with God and Goddess as witness. I won’t go into it as it is too private for even my anonymous, open book blog. But, I’ll just say I’ve finally made a goal for myself to commit fully to deal with it and hopefully bring more positivity to my life and less discord. The change I need to make will be hard, but I have confidence in myself to succeed.

Anyone else had that moment when you’ve realized you gotta change course or you’ll hit an iceberg?

Down But Not Out

Decided a late evening post would be good for me. Been feeling kinda blah the past 24hrs. Had a nasty headache slam me today, even napped for 3hrs this evening. I had planned on exercising this evening but that didn’t happen. Right now I’m at a restaurant hanging out with CT trying to do some homework. Got some reading done now that the headache has disappeared but now I’m ready to head home and sleep 😛

Tomorrow, CT and I are planning on traveling to the (relatively) big city an hour away for hangout time since we both have the day off from work and school. It should be a good day. Besides being kinda sick today, life is going pretty well. My mental health was a bit blah yesterday, but I got through it ok and felt better about myself today (minus the stupid headache). Life is definitely a one-day-at-a-time affair for me sometimes, but I am otherwise pretty happy.

Life Update Time…and other tidbits

Life is going pretty well. At least I have nothing really to complain about. School is off to a good start, the weather is very cold, but tolerable (no more snowstorms at least) and overall I feel like life is going the direction I want it to go. Prayer, meditation and setting goals for myself have really calm anxieties and bring about more internal peace. I don’t think it’s so much that the world around me has changed, but more I’ve changed how I perceive the world and how I deal with issues facing me in the world. And in doing so, I attract what I need out of life and push away what I don’t need. It’s a good feeling of quiet confidence that drives me now. I woke up to the rising sun this morning, quietly in my mind gave my morning prayer to God and Goddess, got up and felt prepared to take on the day. Homework, lunch, work, dinner, more studies…I can handle that. It helps now that I have a part-time job related to my career field that I feel good about going to everyday now (a prayer answered). The otherwise mundane life now feels, less mundane and more exciting. I mean, what’s more exciting than realizing that you’re on planet Earth, you’re living, you’re participating in civilization and can make something of yourself? I never forget how blessed I am to live where I live and have the opportunities that I have. Although, I would hope no matter where I could’ve been born and ended up, I could somehow contribute something positive to myself and others.

I thought I’d share this video with you guys. I really like this chica…she’s a model who’s also Pagan and lives in Britain. She does lots of Youtube videos, including videos on Witchcraft, Wicca and Paganism. Plus, she’s just damn charming. In this video, she talks about spiritual slumps which is very fascinating.

I’ve always had a fair amount in common with Paganism since high school (polytheism, recognition of seasonal and lunar cycles, the oneness of deity and nature). Although, I still have some connections with Christianity (celebration of Christmas and Easter, the influence of Christian thinking via family and the Bible…granted, I haven’t read much of the Bible in years). At the end of the day, I don’t really give myself an identifier, although I’m probably much closer to some type of eclectic Paganism than Christianity.

(Alert: Includes mature content of a sexual nature. Reader discretion is advised)

Last night, I made love with CT for the first time in 5 days. We hadn’t done so because she, like so many people lately was unfortunate enough to catch the nasty flu bug which was been going strong this year. It was so bad, we actually slept in separate rooms so as to avoid my exposure to it (we’ll see if I still catch it lol). But last night, she was feeling up to it, so we decided to make love. CT likes to tell me that it feels just a little different every time, but it felt quite different to me last night. There was an extra rush of energy, an extra need and desire for closeness, just something extra which I think came from the fact that (for us anyways) a lot of time had passed between sexual encounters. Of course, I felt completely merged and one with her at the height of the experience and that’s when I realized how much I’d missed her in that way. I’ll always be amazed by the powerful energy and spiritual connection sex brings with it. Makes me appreciate it as a true expression of love. I’ve had sex just for the sake of pleasure before and while it was physically enjoyable, emotionally and spiritually, the contrast is like night vs. day in terms of satisfaction. In fact, I always like I was missing something. Nowadays, I don’t think I could ever go back to having sex that way after having experienced sex as a spiritual act of love. It’s the act of God and Goddess becoming one, the act which conceived the Universe. It’s beautiful and so much more satisfying when not just body, but the mind and spirit are a part of it as well.

Couple Making Love

Source

The Power of Prayer Never Ceases to Amaze Me

As you all know, I’ve been, as part of my New Moon Ritual goal, giving a blessing prayer to at least one person a day through the Full Moon. Well, last week I gave a prayer to a coworker who has a masters degree and has been searching for a job which fits her degree for long time now (at least several months). I prayed for her to receive a job she had recently interviewed for in a neighboring state and she just told me tonight that she got the job 🙂 She can FINALLY quit the grocery world and move on with her career. She ran into CT this evening (who also works at the same grocery store bakery I do) who was waiting for me to get off work and CT told her about my prayer. Being the faithful Catholic that she is, she came and thanked me for the kind prayer and invited me and CT to a get together with friends at a bar and grill next Saturday. She’s a kind person who has a side job taking care an elderly woman as well. I’m so happy her needs were answered at the right time and she can go off and get the experience she needs to build her career. She’s happy about my recent success finding a part-time gig to build my career experience as well.

No matter what faith you are…prayer crosses religious boundaries and ultimately is a means to spread peace, love and happiness to each other. I was just so happy to hear that I (through God and Goddess) made a positive impact in someone’s life and that they were happy that I cared about them.

A good end to my evening.

Blah

Sometimes, it really stinks to have a mental illness. Although I take medication for it, symptoms still crop up on occasion which produce harsh mood disturbances. All evening I’ve felt very aggravated for no apparent reason. I tried meditation, but nasty thoughts kept severely interfering with my thinking. It’s gotten significant enough I’ve had to take some medication to reign in the short-term symptoms just so I can relax my mind (which seems to want to torture me) so I can just go to sleep.

I still find it amazing the stigma of mental illness. Humans so pride themselves in having control over their own minds, that someone who doesn’t because of some stupid brain malfunctioning is looked down upon as weak in some way or another. On Facebook tonight, in response to someone well-known in some circles committing suicide, people refer to him as a coward whom they had no sympathy for as if we could understand the internal suffering a human being wishing to override their own instincts to live and drive themselves into a grave and pass judgement accordingly. Mental illness is really a physical illness which attacks the mind. Until that’s seriously accepted by the population of this country, such misconceptions will continue endlessly. How sad and unenlightening we still are as a society. Long way to go yet.

Life Path

Ever wonder what path life has you on? Ever feel lost on that path?

I have a friend going through that crisis right now. She wrote me that she feels as if she’s been on the wrong path for years and doesn’t know what she wants for herself. She says she remains stuck while others move on with their lives.

My heart kinda sank when I read this. We used to work together in an office job before I changed cities and colleges. Before the office job, I was toiling away in yet another grocery store. I prayed for something better and this friend already in my life helped me find something better as she told me about a non-advertised intern position and gave me a good reference for it with the boss. So, if it wasn’t for her, my resume would look a lot different. She thought I had talents that shouldn’t be wasted. I messaged her back and said that I am praying for her, that I know what it’s like to be on a difficult path and that everything happens for a reason, even if at first we don’t know what lies on the path.

I felt like she did last summer and even fall. Kinda lost, not knowing exactly where my path would take me. But now, I’ve chosen to just open myself up to complete faith in God and Goddess, prayer and let things come as they may. I just can’t stand being in a total rut any longer. I hope my friend can find the same comfort and sense of freedom from frustration soon.