Down But Not Out

Decided a late evening post would be good for me. Been feeling kinda blah the past 24hrs. Had a nasty headache slam me today, even napped for 3hrs this evening. I had planned on exercising this evening but that didn’t happen. Right now I’m at a restaurant hanging out with CT trying to do some homework. Got some reading done now that the headache has disappeared but now I’m ready to head home and sleep 😛

Tomorrow, CT and I are planning on traveling to the (relatively) big city an hour away for hangout time since we both have the day off from work and school. It should be a good day. Besides being kinda sick today, life is going pretty well. My mental health was a bit blah yesterday, but I got through it ok and felt better about myself today (minus the stupid headache). Life is definitely a one-day-at-a-time affair for me sometimes, but I am otherwise pretty happy.

Blah

Sometimes, it really stinks to have a mental illness. Although I take medication for it, symptoms still crop up on occasion which produce harsh mood disturbances. All evening I’ve felt very aggravated for no apparent reason. I tried meditation, but nasty thoughts kept severely interfering with my thinking. It’s gotten significant enough I’ve had to take some medication to reign in the short-term symptoms just so I can relax my mind (which seems to want to torture me) so I can just go to sleep.

I still find it amazing the stigma of mental illness. Humans so pride themselves in having control over their own minds, that someone who doesn’t because of some stupid brain malfunctioning is looked down upon as weak in some way or another. On Facebook tonight, in response to someone well-known in some circles committing suicide, people refer to him as a coward whom they had no sympathy for as if we could understand the internal suffering a human being wishing to override their own instincts to live and drive themselves into a grave and pass judgement accordingly. Mental illness is really a physical illness which attacks the mind. Until that’s seriously accepted by the population of this country, such misconceptions will continue endlessly. How sad and unenlightening we still are as a society. Long way to go yet.